Nearly 6 Months Later…My How Things Have Changed!

I was reminded this morning when I logged into my yahoo account that this blog existed and was in terrible need of updating.  My most sincere apologies to those who follow this, and I will try my hardest to keep this more up to date!

Let’s see. My last post was 4 days before my husband Joe left for his deployment…that would be the same day that I found out that I was pregnant…again! Yep, 4 days before my husband left for an 8-9 month deployment we found out we are expecting another bundle of joy. I am going to be honest here and say that we were supposed to be done at 2 kids. 2 boys! When I read the pregnancy test and went crying out to Joe about the injustice of life, I was completely serious! I didn’t want another kid, unless it was a girl of course. We were nice and settled in our little family. Our kids sleep through the night, they respond to basic commands, eat grown-up food (for the most part). To add another baby to the mix would throw off the dynamic.

Well, 4 shell-shocked days later, Joe got on a plane headed for war torn locales and I was left 5 weeks pregnant with a 5 and 2 year old. Can you talk about a rude awakening? We were moving into summer time and my morning sickness was in full force. Right now I can’t really tell you how I made it through the first 3 months with both kids home and begging for stimulation and attention…and me barely able to lift my head from the toilet and fix them breakfast. There is probably some sort of post traumatic stress trigger that will bring it all back in a few years. But we did it. We made it through a hot and muggy Virginia summer with minimal bloodshed.

In the beginning of August I opted to do a 3d ultrasound to determine the sex of the new baby. I was seeing pink…I assumed after 2 boys that I would be blessed with a beautiful baby girl. I went into the ultrasound with the serene smile of a mother in the know and walked out fighting back tears. You guessed it, another boy. Now I have had almost 3 months to come to terms with another boy and I think I am doing well. We have decided on a name, a family member had a boy less than a year ago so we have tons of new clothes for him. I have resigned myself to the fact that I will be the only female in my house. So long as everyone is happy and healthy.

Due to the new addition, the military is moving us into a 4 bedroom house in a neighborhood down the street. We move on Halloween. So on top of being nearly 7 months pregnant, my house is boxed up and somehow I am going to have to figure out how to dig up the satellite dish so housing doesn’t have a panic attack. My husband doesn’t come home until either right before or right after the baby comes (we still don’t have a firm homecoming date). You can say life took a hard left turn…or right turn…whichever your fancy, but being the military family that we are we are dealing with it the best we can.

If anyone is still reading this, I am so sorry I stopped blogging for a while but as I have been writing this I have realized that really is a good outlet. Especially for someone who only talks to children all day and spends her nights worried sick about her husband.

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Neglectful Blogger.

Yes, I have been a neglectful blogger lately. I do apologize to those who were waiting with baited breath for my next entry…sarcasm of course! It has been a hectic couple of weeks. My husband has his pre-deployment leave last week and we went to Las Vegas for some grown up R&R. We had a fantastic time…spent too much money and got much too drunk! By the time the last day of our vacation rolled around we were begging to get on the flight back home.

Joe leaves soon. VERY soon. I am an emotional wreck. My kids are emotional wrecks. We found out a few weeks ago that his platoon was sending him to a week-long training course for a week. Of course they scheduled it for the week before he leaves for his 8 month-long deployment. So if we get technical, I have 4 more days with my husband. My oldest son Scott is so mad at me. Since Joe left for training a few days ago, he has been accusing me of “making daddy leave because I am so mean.” He thinks that his daddy doesn’t want to be his daddy anymore.

We are trying to be honest and open with the kids, letting them know that their dad is leaving for a while but he still loves them…all that song and dance. But my son Scott is so sensitive, he thinks he did something wrong. My heart breaks for him. As much as I tell him that Joe still loves him, it doesn’t make any difference to him. This is just something that our family is going to have to power through, and we will. We have gone through so much already, and I think it only makes us stronger.

So as you can see, I have been slightly preoccupied the past few weeks. Things will pick back up after we get this show on the road next week! Oh- and please forgive the serious, slightly whiney nature of this post. I feel strangely comfortable whining to complete strangers rather than my family. They don’t need any more whining 🙂

Pre Deployment Leave!

I have mentioned before that my husband is deploying soon to a particularly scary area of the world. For an “undetermined amount of time.” This really gets to me. Normally, these sorts of deployments are the usual 6-7 months. They don’t often get extended. But with all of the crap going on in the Middle East, and due to the fact that my husband is part of a gung ho marine platoon, they have done away with nice things like time constraints. How hard is it to at least give us wives an estimate? I am guessing 8 months, but I wouldn’t put any money on it.

So normally, before a deployment, the military person is granted “pre-deployment leave”. Usually it’s 2 weeks. A nice little break with your family before you leave for undetermined amounts of time. Well, since my husbands deployment was moved up by 2 weeks, they have cut the pre deployment leave to 7 days. Are you kidding me? First he is gone for however long they want, they moved the deployment up by 2 weeks, and now I only get 7 uninterrupted days with him. Not cool. Not cool at all.

So I decided to grab the bull by the horns and TELL my husband that him and I would be having some grownup alone time before he leaves. We never had a honeymoon (see my strange wedding story blog) and I can’t get over this fatalistic attitude about this deployment. I would rather have spent an awesome few days with just him and me than have sat at home worrying about the upcoming separation. In my bull horn grabbing, I picked Las Vegas as our destination of choice. I had been before, but I was 15 so you can imagine how fun it was for me. My husband hasn’t travelled as much as I have yet, so he has never been.

Ahh Sin City. Now, I posted earlier about how I google everything…you bet that my browser history is FULL of websites about Vegas. Where to stay, what to do (gamble!), where to eat, tips for first time visitors…you get the idea. I haven’t picked a hotel yet, I won’t until I make sure that we actually get paid this week (re: Government Shutdown post). But I am thinking about the MGM Grand, the NY NY, or the Monte Carlo. I can get flights and hotel for 3 nights for around $900. Any ideas, comments, or opinions would be much appreciated. We will be trying to fit the most fun and grownup excitement into 3 days. And preferably without any “Hangover” style mishaps. The tickets get purchased next week!

Field Week.

I hate the field. With a passion. In Marine Corps lingo, “the field” is when a platoon goes and practices all of their defensive maneuvers, rolls around in the dirt with warpaint, and generally acts like big strong military men. Going to the field is usually extremely fun for the marine (or navy corpsman in my husband’s case). They get to do what they joined the military to do, without having to deploy. Unfortunately, deployment is exactly why they go to field training.

My husband and his platoon are deploying soon. Ugh. Can you tell that I am completely unenthused about it? This will be our first big deployment. Ever since he was stationed her in Norfolk with the FAST team, the field weeks have been out of control. The point of the FAST team is to secure things like foreign embassies and weapons and such overseas. They can deploy at a moments notice. This also means that their deployments are on a rotation. No matter what, I usually know the general time and to where my husband will be going.

What stinks the most is that he just came home from a deployment to Cuba (Guantanamo Bay) a few months ago. And now he is going back out again. I know a lot of people (mostly civilians) who would say, “Oh well, you know what you signed up for when you said I do.” This is true, yes I do know what I signed up for. But the reality is so much more terrible than the thought of surviving a few months without your husband. When my husband left for Cuba, it felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest…I wandered around for a week not knowing what to do. Suddenly I was in charge of two extremely confused and sad children. And I was all by myself.

I got through it (more on that later), and was so grateful when he came home. I wasn’t worried about the danger (there was slim to none doing training exercises in Cuba). But then he got home and I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to enjoy him being home since he was basically going to have to turn around and go out again. I have tried to live by the moment, enjoy the time I have with my husband, and the time that my children have with their dad, but it is so hard.

This upcoming deployment will be much more dangerous. If anyone reads the news they should have a fairly good idea of where he is going. While I am fairly candid in my blog, due to OPSEC (operational security) I cannot say exactly when, or to where he is going. Gotta protect our military! But I will say that this one has me worried, scared even. All I can do is trust that he will come home alright.

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