Field Week.

I hate the field. With a passion. In Marine Corps lingo, “the field” is when a platoon goes and practices all of their defensive maneuvers, rolls around in the dirt with warpaint, and generally acts like big strong military men. Going to the field is usually extremely fun for the marine (or navy corpsman in my husband’s case). They get to do what they joined the military to do, without having to deploy. Unfortunately, deployment is exactly why they go to field training.

My husband and his platoon are deploying soon. Ugh. Can you tell that I am completely unenthused about it? This will be our first big deployment. Ever since he was stationed her in Norfolk with the FAST team, the field weeks have been out of control. The point of the FAST team is to secure things like foreign embassies and weapons and such overseas. They can deploy at a moments notice. This also means that their deployments are on a rotation. No matter what, I usually know the general time and to where my husband will be going.

What stinks the most is that he just came home from a deployment to Cuba (Guantanamo Bay) a few months ago. And now he is going back out again. I know a lot of people (mostly civilians) who would say, “Oh well, you know what you signed up for when you said I do.” This is true, yes I do know what I signed up for. But the reality is so much more terrible than the thought of surviving a few months without your husband. When my husband left for Cuba, it felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest…I wandered around for a week not knowing what to do. Suddenly I was in charge of two extremely confused and sad children. And I was all by myself.

I got through it (more on that later), and was so grateful when he came home. I wasn’t worried about the danger (there was slim to none doing training exercises in Cuba). But then he got home and I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to enjoy him being home since he was basically going to have to turn around and go out again. I have tried to live by the moment, enjoy the time I have with my husband, and the time that my children have with their dad, but it is so hard.

This upcoming deployment will be much more dangerous. If anyone reads the news they should have a fairly good idea of where he is going. While I am fairly candid in my blog, due to OPSEC (operational security) I cannot say exactly when, or to where he is going. Gotta protect our military! But I will say that this one has me worried, scared even. All I can do is trust that he will come home alright.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. momfog
    Apr 05, 2011 @ 17:21:45

    Whoever says, “you know what you signed up for” is being unnecessarily flippant and a lot mean. Expectations and realities are two entirely different things. I’ll be praying for you guys!

    Reply

  2. Team Oyeniyi
    Apr 06, 2011 @ 04:49:35

    I’ll be thinking of you too. I wrote a week or so ago that I don’t know how the military spouses do it – and now I know, having read this – not much better than I am, I guess.

    It is a horrible way to live knowing your man is in danger (in my case it is four children as well) and just having to live with that day in, day out.

    You have my deepest empathy.

    Reply

  3. sammib45
    Apr 06, 2011 @ 07:35:29

    @momfog- I really don’t “blame” civilians for saying it…it’s more ignorance sometimes. Anyone can think they can handle deployment, but it’s a whole different rodeo when you actually go through it! Thanks for the prayers!

    @ team oyeniyi- Thank you very much. It takes someone else who has to worry about their husband’s safety (and in your case your children) to fully understand sometimes.

    Reply

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